Bechukotai: Nothing In Life Is Coincidental
A major consequence of this pandemic is our exposure to the true status of our relationships. With less distraction available to us, and an imposed closer proximity to those with whom we live, we are being compelled to be more honest with others and ourselves. We have no choice but to learn how to get along.
A fundamental truth in every healthy and sustainable relationship is that, what you give is what you get. If we make sacrifices for others, they will make sacrifices for us. The more we respect others the more they will respect us. The more we care about others the more they will care for us. It is simply a law of nature.
Any attempt to manipulate this truth will be both superficial and short-lived.
Healthy relationships can only be achieved and maintained through open communication and regular conversation conducted with a respectful and caring attitude. Any issues should be fully acknowledged and dealt with in good time.
We must always remember that relationships don’t fall apart randomly. The reason they do, is because of a lack of decent behavior or healthy positive attitude on our part, and without any attempt to make amends.
Because there are always more than two parties in every relationship, it is therefore tempting to avoid responsibility for our weaknesses.
This principle forms the central theme in a very tragic narrative which appears in this week’s Torah portion. We read that G-d forewarns the Jewish people that the root of all tragedy in our lives is the breakdown of our relationships with each other. This results from a lack of spiritual sensitivity. An awareness that there is an all embracing reality greater than any single individual or particular community.
At the root of this breakdown is one word repeated again and again in this section. In Hebrew the word is “Keri”. In English it translates as “happenstance”, which means ‘coincidental’.
The message is clear and simple. Nothing in life is coincidental. Certainly not in our relationships.
The current setting provides all of us with a unique moment in time to improve our relationships. This can only be done by fully appreciating it’s reciprocal nature.
As the wisest of all men put it succinctly. “As a face reflects a face in water, so does one man’s heart to another”. (Proverbs 27:19)