Do You Want Control - Or Impact?

Human beings have a natural desire to influence others. This urge is deeply embedded in us—whether it arises from a basic need for self-expression or a deeper, altruistic impulse to bring value to others’ lives.

Yet this same drive can also take a darker turn. The desire to influence can morph into a desire to control. What begins as a wish to make a difference may become a quest for dominance.

This is the essential distinction between influence and power.

Power seeks control. Influence seeks empowerment.

Power is often short-term—effective in the moment but unsustainable. Influence is long-term—slower, subtler, but far more enduring. To influence others is to uplift them. We don’t just tell them what to do; we teach them how to think, how to grow, how to stand on their own. We don’t merely pass on knowledge—we help others discover truth for themselves.

True influence demands patience and humility. It begins with a question of perspective: Who is at the center—ourselves or others? Are we self-serving, or are we truly other-directed?

The Torah uses a striking expression when describing the priest lighting the Temple candelabra: “to cause the flame to ascend.” The flame must rise on its own. Influence is not about creating dependence; it’s about kindling independence.

The greatest leaders in history were not those who wielded power, but those who inspired lasting change without needing control.

Power is a zero-sum game—the more you give, the less you hold.

Influence is the opposite—the more you share, the stronger it becomes. The more light you spread, the brighter the world grows.